How to discipline a toddler who doesn't listen
Terrible twos and i always wondered why are these months called so. Until i had my own experience and it was a wonderful one though. Just the terrible part about being 2 year old toddler is constant fight for independence which may be right at time but shivers a mom since she still can't let her toddler take charge of herself. There are absolutely no toddler discipline tips which work all the time, but one thing is most effective which is to be CONSISTENT.
Our thoughts, actions and words must always be in sync for a situation so that the toddler learns to differentiate between tolerable and intolerable behavior. A child is the reflection of his or her parents and family. What they see or hear becomes a part of their own persona and when we point at any behavior we must know it has come from someone among us only.
Toddler discipline tips to help in the time of meltdowns:
There are some wonderful ways which sometimes can help in calming down the toddler and sometimes you just need to search other brilliant ways. Not every child is alike and when it comes to being a parent of a toddler all the patience has already gone.
1- Don’t battle every situation:
Being a parent is not about being an autocratic ruler who guides and tells whats the next plan of action. Rather be a supportive influence on your child and help her understand how things work. Rather than battling every situation, choose your battles. For anything serious there must be consequences, and by consequences we don’t mean punitive. The consequences in terms of reduction in their fun time or play at park or story time. The less they get of these the more they will know the reasons why.
2- Be consistent:
Don’t be a black box for your child, suddenly charged up and dull the other moment. For every situation have a firm reaction and stay consistent with it. Specially when you have grand parents and extended family also visiting often, the kid may get separate reactions from everyone on any mis-doing. This is inconsistent as the child may feel its right or wrong based on how everyone reacts. If you yourself keep one firm reaction to say throwing a toy or shouting or not sleeping, this will make the toddler understand better
3- Know the triggers for your child:
What makes a meltdown occur, and when exactly does the toddler misbehave. When we know these triggers it becomes easier to diver and move the toddler away from them. A toddler is just beginning to understand the complexities around her, and getting triggered just actuates the situation further. The more you keep the things that annoy or irritate your toddler, away the better control they will have on their behavior.
4- Don’t be too emotional or too indifferent:
Being too emotional or too indifferent makes the toddler also afraid. Shouting every single day for keeping things in place or not even reacting to the mess they created are both equally bad. Just have a firm and rather less emotional way of dealing with your child.
5- Keep it short and simple:
Whatever advices you have for your toddler or directions you wish to give them, be sure to keep them as short and to the point as possible. Giving long list of things to do and not to, and also over explaining sometimes goes the other way round. The child forgets the issue and gets so confused with what all you said that the whole meaning of explaining he disappears
6- Keep your cool:
Getting angry is natural but learn to control it when dealing with your toddler or any aged kid. The more you lose temper the more they learn that behavior. Being patient is a virtue which in itself is the solution to many problems. The more you react more fun it becomes for toddler to repeat the wrong behavior over and over.
Discipline mistakes of parents:
There are often some mistakes we as parents make which actuates a toddler misbehavior. We think we have done it right but what actually goes to the toddler is even more worse behavior. Some of these discipline mistakes are:
1- Saying a lie:
Its often the parents who teach kids to lie than anyone else. When we say lies to cover up after ourselves, the toddlers learn it from there. Even a simple reason for not being abel to finish a task in kitchen and covering up with a lie is big enough for a toddler to grab it ahead
Bribing is not the way to inculcate good behavior. If you bribe them for a candy or a TV show to be good, they wont do it because it is the right way to behave but just because it has a treat attached for them. The point here is to teach them whats right and wrong rather than bribing
3- Breaking your own rules:
You set a rule for raising voice at home and you only break it, does not show the right way to your toddler. The toddler then starts breaking for themselves too. You must set the right example when you show a rule or right way to behave by not breaking it. Toddlers learn through observing their parents than by anything else
How to discipline a toddler without hitting:
First of all for everyone who thinks spanking a child helps in making them understand what is right, this is a serious misconception. Rather hitting a child is an offense and must be some serious repercussions you have to deal with. A child is an individual with their own likes, dislikes and they have all the right to live the way they wish, but we as parents need to ensure their safety and that they don’t learn anything inappropriate. Some ways to discipline a toddler are:
1- When the toddler does anything wrong, just bend down to the level of their eyes and firmly say NO, WE DONT DO THIS WAY and move away. Dont elaborate too much and dont shout, a rather affirmative statement is what must be the consistent answer
2- Never forget to praise their good deeds, as the more they get positive reinforcement the lesser they will do wrong things
3- Reward and time-outs must have a balance:
There must not be extreme of either, just reward them with a healthy and thrilling treat, and give a time out for their wrong doings. Keep in mind a time out is not to scare the child in a dark room, rather give them some time to cool off. We, as parents, in no way, must do anything that will have a psychological and long term impact on the kids.
4- Be their friend:
The more you give time to them the better they understand you and whats right or wrong. Be their friend and a confidante, all they need is some quality time with parents and this will help in their development and learning too
5- Keep some wonderful rewards for not repeating any wrong behavior for say a week:
If your toddler loves going to the library or museum or any park, keep it as a reward for not repeating anything you said no to.
The above compilation on How to discipline a toddler who doesn't listen is to help the parents specially mothers of toddlers. This time is very crucial for your toddler and definitely for your bond too. Be careful in your actions and words as whatever you say or do gets registered in their mind. Be consistent and be patient as the toddler is eager to learn it all
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