After the divorce, child resides with one of the parents which makes the child disconnected to the complete parenting. Both the parents love and affection is important to the child for the proper physical and brain development. Co parenting offers you a chance to look after the well being of your child. You will come to know about the Co Parenting in detail by the end of this article.
Co-Parenting involves both the parents to work together to raise their child when they are divorced and no longer live together. Co Parenting helps in growing happier and healthier children.
This article discusses the benefits of Co Parenting. It presents the tips for achieving successful Co Parenting after divorce.
What is Co Parenting after Divorce?
Happy and stable marriages are the best setting for the well being of the children. Unfortunately, most of the married lives are ending up in divorce. Divorce is a stressful situation. For you, the time can heal and help you to get into the routine life. But, your child has to struggle all the way getting into the adulthood.
If you and your ex have decided to offer your child stable and healthy growing environment, then you need to know what Co Parenting is!
Co Parenting is a situation where both the parents take up the responsibility for bringing up the child even when they are not in sexual relationship. This Co parenting takes places usually after the divorce. The other scenarios where the Co Parenting takes place are separation, break up of romantic relationship.
Co Parenting plays a prominent successful role in the daily routine of your child unless your family has the background of the domestic violence or substance abuse. Dealing with Co Parenting after divorce may seem stressful but if you keeping in mind the responsibility of offering your child a successful life will help to overcome this situation.
Benefits of Co Parenting:
More frequent contact with both the parents is very essential for the child to grow happier and healthier. Here are the few benefits that Co Parenting will have on your child:
1. Co Parenting makes the child to feel secure:
Divorce may offer your kid traumatizing experience and it may affect them psychologically. Co Parenting makes the children to feel and enjoy the love and affection from both the parents. It strengthens their self confidence and self esteem.
2. Children feel Stable:
Co Parenting makes the child feel stable and and safe. Children come to experience the undivided attention from both the parents. Children with stable and safe environment can adapt and face the challenges without feeling the overload.
3. Children grow mentally and emotionally Healthier:
Being connected to both the parents and loved by them irrespective of the internal conflicts helps the kids experience healthier mental growth and manager emotional stability. Children with Co Parents are away from the risk of developmental issues such as depression, anxiety, or ADHD.
4. Children learn problem solving:
Co Parenting offers your child a scope to learn the problem solving skills. When they observe their parents who are good at overcoming the obstacles, children learn to adopt that quality in their lives.
5. Children develop strong relationships:
Co Parenting provides a framework from which the child can form healthy and successful bonding with both the parents. It teaches child the value of relationships. Your child will come to respect and build the healthy relationships in the adulthood.
6. Co Parenting limits splitting the emotions:
Co Parenting secures the child from the feeling of being torn between the parents. Child with Co Parents need not to stop or split the emotions. They have the Co Parenting platform to display their feeling and emotions at ant time. Children need not to suffer with the storage of emotions or feeling.
7. Children less likely feel abandoned:
A single parent can not offer the child a complete, fulfilled, and balanced life. Even the extreme efforts of single parent can not work well to make the child happy. Children may feel abandoned at some point with a single parent. Co Parenting makes the child to feel secured and emotionally balanced all the time.
8. Limits Parentification:
A parentified child is the one who assumed to be a caretaker in the home. In the case of diovorce, parentified child struggles to serve as a messenger to carry the new between the parents with their broken realtionships.
9. Co Parenting help in disciplining the child better:
If you solely took the responsibility of taking care of your child after divorce, child may lose attachment and bond with the other parent. A single parent may not know all the strengths and weakness of the child. Being grown up in the company of a single parent makes the child feed distorted and discouraged. They may become poor at studies and end up the studies being a school drop out.
10. Co Parenting makes the parents respectful to each other:
Before divorce parents may crosses many conflicts each day which throws a negative impact on their self. Co Parenting after divorce on the other hand makes them to build a warm and friendly relationship for the sake of their children.
Tips for Successful Co Parenting After Divorce:
Co-Parenting is a best choice to protect your kid from the impacts of the fallout of your relationship. Here are a few tips for effective Co Parenting after divorce.
1) Wipe off the personal relationship:
The key and the foremost step in building the successful Co Parenting relationship is to forego the personal conflict with your ex partner. Keeping the arguments and conflicts in the corner of the mind may prevent to adopt friendly growing environment for your child.
Start thinking your relationship with your co partner a completely new one in the your Co Parenting. Remember that your married life has ended, but not your kid’s life. You child has not yet entered into the life race and has more to learn and achieve. Help your child in crossing the obstacles and achieving the milestones by successful Co Parenting after separation.
2) Accept your child’s concerns:
Listen and accept your child’s concerns. If your child says that he/she does not want to go near the other parent. Then ask your child for the reason. Fix the ones that you can like if the child does not have the toys and story books at the other parent’s house.
If the child’s concern is out of your scope and is associated with the other parent speak to them and try to fix it.
3) Practice Empathy:
If you feel that when your kid is missing the other parent show them the ways to communicate with them. Let your child to learn the right attitudes. Children mimic the things easily that adults do. Make them to understand the difference between good and bad.
4) Organize quality of time for your children:
It is always essential to spend quality of time with your children to make them feel secure. Quality time is the most important assert that you can give your child. It helps to strengthen the family bonds and develop the positive behaviors in your child.
When you are spending time with your child, you are building a friendly and open environment for your child where they can find and learn many valuable things. It helps your child to improve the academic performance.
5) Do not interfere:
It may be difficult in the beginning to cope with the loneliness and digest the feeling that your kid is far away from you. Follow a few ways to keep yourself busy like visit your friends, exercise, hobbies that keep you joy.
When your kid is with your ex, don’t ruin their company. Find out the ways to see your child a pick up from the school when your ex is busy will help you to find the time with your child.
6) Set rules that you both can compel:
Setting the rules and ensuring that you both should follow the rules is very important. Your child may wonder if one of the parent is relaxed with the rules. To avoid this, set the rules which are convenient for both of you.
7) Maintain Constant Communication:
Though your marital relationship has ended, your parental relationship never ends. It is always good to maintain the constant and good communication ignoring the conflicts. Discuss with your ex the behavior and welfare of your child.
8) Plan for vacations:
It is one of the best Co-Parenting tips after divorce. Being a Co Parent, Nothing wrong in planning for vacations for the sake of your kid. Your child may need some space and time to refresh themselves from the academic pressure. Vacations offer the scope for your kid to spend quality time with both the parents.
9) Maintain Peace:
Arguments may be common after the divorce. Never get into arguments and create the conflicting environment. Conflicting environments may make your child feel distress and abandoned. Forgive your ex fast and compromise on the things for the sake of your child. Don’t drag your child into arguments. Let children be children.
10) Share the moments:
Share the photos regarding the accomplishments, special moments of your child with your ex. This can make your ex feel that the kid is happy and they may learn the ways to make the kid happy all the time.
11) Utilize the time without your kid:
Don’t feel alone when your kid is with other parent. Use the days that kid is away from you for the socialization. Get into some creative classes like painting, crafts etc. Practise yoga or exercise regularly. Get the massage, watch the movies, read the stories before bedtime. Recharge yourself with the joyful activities so that you look better when your kid come back.
12) Respect the boundaries:
Respecting the boundaries will always help you to stay away from the arguments. Never make your kids the reason for the argument after the divorce. Avoid the arguments in front of your children.
13) Help your child to cope up with the changes:
Co- Parenting after divorce may bring many changes in your kid’s life like new school, new home, new friends, new daily routines. All these changes may make your child overwhelmed. Help your child in embracing the changes and make them to develop the positive attitude.
14) Make Proper Joint Custody Agreement:
If the kid spends weekends at one parent and weekdays at another parent may create imbalances in the Co Parenting schedule. This makes one parent to rush with the kid’s daily routine and the other parent to enjoy the free time with kid. This may lead to arguments at some point.
There are many ways to avoid this issue. Make a proper Joint custody agreement.
15) Share your parenting responsibilities:
Sharing and organize the responsibilities properly. Arrange Co- Parenting meeting without third party presence. Try to have open and regular communication with your Co-Parent. Figure out the needs of your child and check when they are met.
In conclusion, Divorce has many adverse effects on child development. You might have many ways to heal the wounds of divorce whereas your child has to suffer with the negative consequences of divorce. Secure your child from the behavioral problems and offer them the joy of childhood by involving yourself in successful Co Parenting.