When your child grows, you may notice both pleasant and unpleasant milestones. Tattling is one of the unpleasant milestones. It is an unwanted behavior which needs to be plucked at the initial stages of child’s life.
Tattling is a temporary part of childhood. It is not always fun and easy to deal with the tattletale child. Tattletales often tattle on their own siblings and friends. Sometimes they may tell on a parent or another grown up. A tattle child needs to be monitored and paid attention at the early stages to avoid any further rivalries.
This article discusses the child tattle behavior and the ways to handle a tattle child.
What is tattling?
It is the act making yourself good by trying to get someone into trouble. If a child tells a parents or a grown up about someone who cause harm of hurt someone, then this type of reporting is not considered as tattling.
The answer to whether tattling is good or bad depends on the reason for throwing a tattle. It is absolutely fine to raise tattle on someone in order to prevent harm. Tattling is regarded as the bad if the reason to raise tattle is to fulfill your own satisfaction.
Why do kids Tattle?
Kids use tattling for several reasons. Kids are in a learning stage where they figure out what are morals, and the difference between the right and wrong.
When kids see someone doing something that they are not supposed to do, then they feel intolerated and report to someone.
Children also tattle to get themselves on the good side of their parents or teachers.
How should adults respond to tattling?
Tattling is not a direct step in the social development. Here are the few ways that parents should respond to their kid’s tattle.
1. Offer Empathy:
Do not get to solve the situation for the kids who tattle. Because, it may make your kid feel that only adult intervention is the best and only one tool to deal with the peer conflicts. This technique helps you deal with child tattle behavior.
2. Distinguish between telling and tattling:
Most of the parents and kids are struggling to distinguish between telling and tattling. Telling involves direct communication and avoiding further conflicts. Tattling on the other side is coined to get someone into risk.
3. Encourage direct problem solving:
Teach your kids with the healthy ways that are required to handle the conflict between their peers. Let your kid know the benefits of direct communication. Direct communication makes the problem solving an easy process.
How To Stop Tattletale Child?
The first step that parents should do to treat the tattle child is to know the intention behind the tattle. If your child is struggling with social skills, help to find the alternatives to tattle.
1. Avoid the siblings conflict:
Make sure that there are less scope for the conflict between the siblings. The main trigger for the conflict between the two siblings is that one may want to enjoy the pleasure from seeing the other punished. It will help to curb your kid’s tattle behavior.
2. Use the opportunity:
This is one of the best ways to teach your child not to be a tattletale.If you and your child see another child tattling use that opportunity to teach your kid. Let your kid understand what other kid might have done instead of tattling. Well intentioned tattle creates many problems.
3. Let your kid understand difference between telling and tattling:
Don’t let your kid to confuse with these words. Telling is meant to solve serious issues. Tattling is the process of getting someone into trouble to satisfy their pleasures.
4. Help your child develop social skills:
This is one of the best ways for helping kids control tattletale behavior. Some kids may fail to cope well with the interpersonal skills and lack in problem solving skills. Help your child to learn some non verbal cues that shows that he/she is friendly. Never allow your kid from crossing their arms. Encourage your child to sign up for after school sessions which will help to achieve self sense and reduces the need to tattle others.
5. Teach your child problem solving skills:
Sometimes, kids tattle to seek help. Make your kid to practice the skill of problem solving. You can achieve this by discussing some routine problems along with their solutions.
6. Help your child to achieve the quality of assertiveness:
Help your kid to use the assertive phrases while dealing with the peer conflicts. This will help them to stay away from the serious conflicts. Help them to work with the conflicts instead of tattling.
7. Make your kid to understand their boundaries:
Sometimes your kid might spread tattles on someone damaging their personal image. Explain your kid that no one has the right to damage one’s self respect and image. Strictly avoid your kid from spreading gossips on someone.
8. Help them to cope with the frustration and conflict:
Frustration and conflict are the two main root causes for tattling. Make your kid to adopt the techniques to deal with the frustration and anger. Make your kid to have friendly and direct interaction with their peers. Do not allow them to discuss the negatives of one of their friend with the other friends.
9. Do not exaggerate when your kid tattle:
Do not overstress when your child tattles. Your Main target is always to keep your away from the tattling. Explain your child the instance where they can use the tattles. Most of the times tattling is harmless. But make sure that your kid did not get other kid into trouble.
10. Teach your kid to work in groups:
Make your kid to achieve the effective team working skills. It is very difficult for some children to work in groups. Most often the kids working in groups tattle to get help from the adults when the things are not well.
11. Pay your attention:
Some child may often tattle in order to grab your attention. Pay more attention to your tattletale child. Share the daily routines with your tattletale child.
12. Explain the tattletale child their limits:
Make this point very clear to the tattletale child and ask them never to report if the situation does not involve them. Teach them not to report the misbehavior of any other student to the teacher until unless their attitude disturbs them.
Ask him to report about anyone only in case of threat to his/her safety or another student’s safety.
13. Let your kid understand the negative impacts of tattling:
Tattletale kids are vulnerable to bullying. Explain your kid that tattling may not help to make friends.
14. Talk about privacy:
It is the best way to stop tattling. Discuss with your child about the privacy and secrets. Tell your kid that doesn’t share their friend’s secrets with others. This makes your kid to lose valuable friends.
15. Allow your kid to be independent:
Ask your tattletale kid to be independent Because, they use parents or adults as the platforms to rescue them. Independent children are less likely to be involved in tattling and can solve the problems on their own. Help your child to develop independent problem solving skills.
16. Pay more attention:
if your kid is frequently tattling his/her friends or siblings, then there comes time for you to intervene. Make you little one to pay more attention to their own motivation.
17. Be a good role model:
Do not create any gossips about the third party with your friends in front of your kids. Make your kid understand that discussing other personal matters is not a good trait. Never let your kid to overhear your gossips. Explain your kid about the examples in TV shows, and your personal relationships.
18. Make your kid to understand that occasional tattling is Okay!
Allow your kid to report the behaviors that hurts or harms others. This type of tattling is regaraded as the good one. Tell your kid to share the tattles with the ones whom they trust most.
19. Teach conflict resolution:
If you expect your child to resolve the problems on their own, then you should teach you child conflict resolution techniques.
20. Provide Strategies for your child to handle the things independently:
Help your child to adopt the strategies for handling the things independently instead of tattling. Make them to practice the habit of own problem solving at home. Restrict them from reporting about their siblings.
21. Help your kid to replace the attitude of tattling:
It is not the right way to criticize your tattling child. Teach your child how to replace the wrong attitude with the right attitude. Helping your child to achieve the right attitude will help them to frame a quality of life.
22. Train your child to stay away from the tattling:
Training is most important to put the things into reality. Allow your tattling child to have a role play with his/her sibling at home. Explain them the scenarios to deal with and make your child strong enough to deal with the situations in the future.
23. Brainstorm your child:
Make your child to come up with a wide range of solutions for a single problem and review them. This exercise will help them to achieve own thinking and enhances their problem solving abilities.
24. Reassure your child:
Explain your child that tattling is a unpleasant thing. Tell your kid that it is perfectly alright to report to an adult if anyone is at the risk of harm. Ask your kid not to put their legs in the things which do not have his/her involvement.
In conclusion, to stop a child from tattling, you must know the reasons for their tattling and respond accordingly. This article has presented 24 ways to deal with tattletale child.